Dog Vs Cat

[badaz06]

EXCERPTS FORM A DOGS DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am--OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am--OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am--OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm--OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm--OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm--OH BOY! THE KDIS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm--OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day Number 181
8:00 am--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am--OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am--OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am--OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm--OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm--OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm--oooooooo, bath, bummer.
4:00 pm--OH BOY! THE KDIS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm--OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm--OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CATS DIARY
DAY 752--
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761--
Today my attempt to almost kill my captors by weaving around their feet wile they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at top of stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on the bed.
DAY 765--
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try and strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...hmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768--
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771--
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise, and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and use it to my advantage.
DAY 774--
I'm convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to the current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

[C5inWV]

A dog is a loyal enthusiast. If you throw a stick, he will fetch it. He will do it again and again until he his tongue is hanging out and he is too tired to run anymore.

On the other hand, if you take the cat in the yard and throw a stick, he will look up at you and look toward the stick. He'll look at you again and then at the stick, all the while thinking, " Do you want me to go get the dog?"

[:D]

[LilRedCorvette]

Here's a Valentine's Day card I got from a friend:

HOW DOGS CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY-

1. Rise at 5:30 AM. Wet-nose the master.
2. Go out and pee on the world.
3. Make poopy.
4. Sniff poopy.
5. Seriously consider eating poopy.
6. Eat funny-looking bug instead.
7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug.
8. Drink water out of toilet.
9. Roll around in filth, then lavish master with kisses.
10. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again.

[/:)] [:-&] [:))]

[badaz06]

Those are both hilarious!!